Tell me if this sounds familiar? You have an event, situation or interaction coming up and you map out in your head exactly how you “know” it is going to play out. You have created this reality of what is to come and placed it in your tidy little box. Expectations have been set, plans have been anticipated, emotions and reaction are at the ready all reliant on things going as you have foreseen. How often do things actually play exactly as you “know” they will? How often were your assumptions completely off base and you were left feeling less than satisfied in what occurred? We are robbing ourselves when we ascribe to this My Way or the Highway mentality. Things did not fit into the tidy little box that I created for this situation and what could have been an amazing experience is now left feeling like it is lacking because of this.
This is a hard lesson for me and I know I cannot be the only one. I am a planner and I enjoy being in control of situations. The Universe provided another wonderful learning opportunity for me and once again I missed the mark. Recently I had family visit from out of town. We don’t get to see each other very often, maybe once every 2-3 years so it was exciting to have this opportunity to reconnect face to face. Since the last time they had visited I had purchased my own home, an accomplishment that I am immensely proud of as it had been something I worked very long and hard to achieve. In my nice tidy little box I had decided how it was going to play out when they came to see us at the house. They were going to ask for a tour, appreciate all of the little decorative details, comment on my bountiful rose garden, explore our hallway of pictures sharing memories, appreciate my design aesthetic and join me in my pride of what I had accomplished. The experience did not go “my way”, what I “knew” would happen did not even come close to reality. They arrived came straight to the dining room, took a seat and did not venture from that spot until they left. They never mentioned the house, my roses or seemed to even take notice of their surroundings. I fell into the same faulty pattern of My Way or the Highway and allowed this to taint the rest of the evening. I robbed myself of truly embracing and appreciating spending time with them, of interacting and rebuilding connections and just enjoying being with family. I was present and I participated and loved on people but there was this underscore of disappointment and resentment because the experience did not live up to my expectations. I did not allow myself to embrace the moment because I was so focused on what did not happen.
This is a hard lesson for me and I know I cannot be the only one. I am a planner and I enjoy being in control of situations. The Universe provided another wonderful learning opportunity for me and once again I missed the mark. Recently I had family visit from out of town. We don’t get to see each other very often, maybe once every 2-3 years so it was exciting to have this opportunity to reconnect face to face. Since the last time they had visited I had purchased my own home, an accomplishment that I am immensely proud of as it had been something I worked very long and hard to achieve. In my nice tidy little box I had decided how it was going to play out when they came to see us at the house. They were going to ask for a tour, appreciate all of the little decorative details, comment on my bountiful rose garden, explore our hallway of pictures sharing memories, appreciate my design aesthetic and join me in my pride of what I had accomplished. The experience did not go “my way”, what I “knew” would happen did not even come close to reality. They arrived came straight to the dining room, took a seat and did not venture from that spot until they left. They never mentioned the house, my roses or seemed to even take notice of their surroundings. I fell into the same faulty pattern of My Way or the Highway and allowed this to taint the rest of the evening. I robbed myself of truly embracing and appreciating spending time with them, of interacting and rebuilding connections and just enjoying being with family. I was present and I participated and loved on people but there was this underscore of disappointment and resentment because the experience did not live up to my expectations. I did not allow myself to embrace the moment because I was so focused on what did not happen.
Reflecting back on this past week’s experiences I know it is time for me to hurry up and learn this lesson so I can stop missing out on embracing the joy of these experiences when they don’t live up to my expectations. I am not in control of so many things in this world and instead of fighting that I am going to embrace it. Let the Universe provide in what is truly the best way for me, appreciate and find the joy in my experiences and throw the box out the window to allow room for things beyond my imagination. My intention for moving forward is to let go of expectations, trust the Universe, open myself to the infinite possibilities and embrace the journey. Let go of the control and relish in the freedom of living outside the box.
The Universe loves to provide opportunities for us to learn our lessons, if you are stubborn like I can be sometimes those opportunities get less subtle and more like a steam roller until I finally take notice and make changes. So here’s hoping that this can be a subtle reminder for those that need it and save someone from a future 2 X 4 to the face.
The Universe loves to provide opportunities for us to learn our lessons, if you are stubborn like I can be sometimes those opportunities get less subtle and more like a steam roller until I finally take notice and make changes. So here’s hoping that this can be a subtle reminder for those that need it and save someone from a future 2 X 4 to the face.
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